I kind of hate humans right now and am busy planning a move to Antarctica with Pablito.

Last week on one of the forums I belong to, some n00b troll came on and started talking about how women have too many rights. As in ever since feminism, we’ve just become too uppity and privileged. Let that sink in. Ok. So then I promptly put him in his place for being an ignorant bigot. Thought it was obvious. Boy, was I wrong.

What happened? I got flamed. For “stifling the debate” “wrongfully considering women a minority (compared to POC etc)” and “making the place inhospitable for a newbie.” I’m sorry, but am I an alien from Planet WTF? I think debating the place of women in society is like debating (yes, I’m Godwin trolling, but as Godwin himself said, sometimes the analogy fits) that the Holocaust didn’t exist or something. I don’t think it is an appropriate discussion. If that means stifiling the debate, well I am going to stifle the debate. If you honestly think that less than a century of the feminist movement (again, depending on how you count it) has not only erased but overturned millenia of inequality, well, let me know how that turns out for you. I’m literally sick to my stomach that people can think like that. I did not know I had crack rocks for breakfast and that thinking women were human beings was a minority opinion, but there you go.

The one thing I did “do wrong” was that I was a major bitch about it, which could explain some of the flaming, but not all. Especially when people flamed me telling me my reasoning was flawed. Women aren’t in politics, women aren’t in corporate governance is “flawed reasoning.” In my defense, my bitchiness was to the extent of my disgust and outrage at blatant misogyny and the fact that I was getting flamed for something completely righteous. I would have been just as disgusted and harsh if someone had come on talking about how 9/11 was a good idea that worked out in the end. I don’t want to leave the forum, but part of me thinks that if “women have it too good” is the majority opinion there, or if people felt the need to flame me for expressing a valid opinion held by more than one person, maybe that isn’t a safe place, or maybe it doesn’t have a majority of people I identify with (could they be Nazis?), or maybe, since I am the one who got flamed, the clique in charge doesn’t think I fit in there (most likely explanation). And, in their defense, people don’t take to kindly to being called ignorant bigots, but it is what it is. Mea culpa, but they are still dumbasses who need to move to Saudi Arabia. Anyway, let’s get back to the original topic: women are too uppity and have too many rights. If that thread wasn’t enough to sour me on human beings, three new pieces of news have come out of AmeriKKKa that have me booking boat tickets to go see penguins while at the same time comforting me in my righteous anger. No, forum idiots, women actually don’t have it so good.

1. My lovely state of Mississippi has decided to REINTRODUCE a bullshit personhood amendment after it was soundly voted down. I wrote an email to my state senator, and I am proud of myself for staying classy. What do these people not understand? If a state like Mississippi voted it down once, don’t you think there is some flawed, crazy logic there when even the most fascist of American states (I love you anyway, Mississippi) can’t hang with it? The Personhood movement isn’t about abortion any more. The way these cheap law school dropout motions are written will have nefarious side effects on women with septic pregnancies, ectopic pregnancies, stillbirths, infertility issues and more. But let’s worry about the embryos.

As aside: true story- I used to be against late-term abortion. In Islam, depending on your school of thought, the school(s) of thought that allow abortion say it should only be done before 12-15 weeks. But now I realize that preserving a doctor’s right to do a late term abortion protects those performed earlier, and protects women who have stillbirths or pregnancies with severe fetal abnormalities. If you qualify a woman’s right to end a pregnancy, it becomes a very slippery slope. NEWS FLASH: because of these ignorant, poorly written laws on late term abortions, women with stillbirths may still have to wait several days to get their D&Cs. Yes, if the doctor can’t be found who is willing to do it promptly, you have to carry around a dead baby in your stomach and get septicemia and potentially die because only certain doctors are allowed to perform late term d&c’s. That means that even if you catch the stillbirth early in the fetal death process, you can’t do the grieving normal parents do and hold your baby when it comes out, because thanks to the Republitards lawmaking, and if you are still alive, your baby has already decomposed significantly by the time it is taken out. I’m not saying some women don’t get lucky, but this shit actually happens in America (I’m trying to find the link).

2. That Darrell Issa hearing circus biznass. What that man did is so repugnant to me that I can’t even write a coherent sentence about it. What Repbulicans write in the comments of any article written on the subject makes me want to off myself over the hypocrisy and twisting. One person said “I’m so tired of the liberals (THE LIBERALS) tying abortion and birth control together.” !!! !!! !!! I didn’t know “we” did that, this whole birth control thing started from the same tea bagging douchetards and their personhood shizz.

3. The state house in Virgina passed a bill forcing women seeking abortions to undergo transvaginal ultrasounds. So if you want an abortion, you have to have a canister stuck up you, but hey, it’s ok, because you were the dirty slut who opened her legs and let a penis in, right? Actually, one of the legislators actually said that. It’s like a penis. Again, don’t read the Republicans. It’s all “but it isn’t forcible rape” and “if you want an abortion you have to get something stuck up there anyway.” Really.

Denying access to birth control is glorified slut shaming, because all we have to do is not have sex right? My tax dollars paid for the war in Iraq. I was sure as hell against that shizz. So shut your pie hole and pay for birth control. I think it is so funny how Republicans want to control even the most intimate parts of womens’ lives, but when it comes to social welfare, helping single mothers, funding Planned Parenthood, suddenly they get all Libertarian on us and how we have to fend for ourselves. Yes indeed, fend for ourselves as single mothers with the children we couldn’t afford to raise and weren’t allowed to get an abortion for. I don’t understand how women are supposed to pay for kids if they can’t afford an abortion or birth control, and I can’t understand who is going to pay for it, and I REALLY can’t understand how the people who support this personhood shit make that leap in logic.

So let’s just keep it real: Republicans hate women. The end. I’ve never moving back to the United States beause I’m ashamed to be American. I’m literally disgusted at myself for being born there. I’m going to go read Cioran or something.

Oh, and those people on the forum were SO RIGHT, women have it WAY TOO GOOD. For fuck’s sake.