I do have some posts here in the pipeline so stay tuned.
Some ongoing stomach problems made it hard for me to fast last year, and while my issues have gotten worse, I’m more optimistic about having a better Ramadan this year. Every year I dole out some top food tips. Some of these may be repeats (it is my 14th Ramadan after all), some may not.
- Stop caffeine now if you haven’t already. Start tapering ASAP. Ramadan days are long this year and your headache plus the heat will be the absolute suck.
- Make sure going into Ramadan you are as hydrated as you can be. Here in Switzerland the days are going to be around 16 hours long. You need to already have a good water situation going to compensate for the fact that some nights you would rather sleep/pray than pee due to chugging liters of water. Also, better hydration=less headaches in the early days.
- I’ve said this many years but it always bears repeating: even if you are breaking fast with friends or at the mosque, do not hold someone else responsible for your food because you never know what is going to happen. One Ramadan i was commuting Geneva to Lausanne, and I didn’t break fast in Geneva at maghrib because I was like “oh I’ll be home in an hour, it’s all good.” Then the train got stuck. I didn’t get home for almost five hours. Good thing I had a thermos and some dates on me. I always have a travel mug and some tea bags or instant soup and always dates on me. Also, even if you go to the masjid, have your little thermos of tea and your dates on you. Let people raid the buffet table, get your food when things are calm. Plus, due to the questionable behavior of certain believers when it comes to buffets and masajid, you aren’t even guaranteed food a lot of times because auntie put some biryani in her purse to take home. Be prepared.
- If you live alone, there are days you will not be feeling cooking or running the gauntlet at the masjid. In these cases, some easy staple foods are your friends. I make sure i have a lot of instant soup (hydration) and some raw veggies I can just chop and eat (cucumbers and celery are also great hydraters). My Forever Alone Ramadan Fridge is full of yogurt, veggies, precooked rice or couscous grains (more on that below), and flavored waters or teas (more also below). Have a good stash going at home for stuff that doesn’t take a million years to cook.
- Sundays generally are my cooking days but in Ramadan i shift that to Saturday, because on Sunday I need to be focused on resting, sleeping and getting my game on for work. On Saturday, I usually cook whatever i want to do dish wise for the week and freeze it. I also make a big pot of chorba to nurse on until Monday or Tuesday. I also make and freeze couple of single servings of saffron rice or couscous grains. That way if I actually eat meat (more on that below) I have a quick side, and if I am not feeling like anything that day, I don’t have to wait for rice to cook. I try on Wednesday or Thursday to make beans or lentils to see me through until Friday because they don’t freeze well.
- I see so many people who are casual vegetarians (like myself, i’m not denying the permissibility of meat but I don’t digest it well) suddenly go crazy and want meat every day for Ramadan. That’s not exactly how the salaf did it. Don’t change your habits to much other than trying to eat lighter. You don’t have to eat like a king just because it is Ramadan. Of course, if you are generally a big carnivore, I’m not saying change your ways, but if you’re like me,don’t drink the kool-aid about how in Ramadan it isn’t iftar if you haven’t eaten the animal products of a small farm.
- I sadly know a lot about stomach issues over the past year and so I speak with authority that you need to baby your stomach in Ramadan. This is another reason not to go all out on the meat or pastries. The cool thing about fasting is that it gives your digestive system a break; don’t attack it with a ton of fatty, sugary, greasy food that it will take until the next iftar to process and digest. Think bland, small portions, and wait a bit between servings. That said, even if you take a quick nap, wake up for iftar. It’s still important. Your sleep brain will tell you “oh it’s only two hours, you got this” and your fasting brain at asr will ask you why you didn’t have breakfast.
- 16-hour days. In the summer. You’ll need a lot of liquid at night. I find drinking straight water gets boring, so I make a lot of cold-pressed tea, herbal tea and infusions in nalgene bottles. The cool thing about cold-pressed is you just put it in the fridge and forget it until the next day. I’ve got five bottles, so I usually make enough for the first half of the week then just reuse my bottle each night with a new batch. I won’t post a recipe because it really is that simple: throw some tea into a nalgene bottle, add a pinch of sugar if you want, pour water over it, leave it in the fridge until it gets cold, and strain it when you want to drink it. That way, you aren’t drinking soda or processed stuff that can irritate your stomach, and you’re hydrating. When i’m really lazy, I stick a few sprigs of mint into an Evian bottle and leave it. Delicious.
- For a lot of us under 40, this will be our first middle-of-summer Ramadan. Don’t overextend yourself with invitations. As in years past, I only “go out” (mosque, friends) one night a week. Spend a few days seeing how your body reacts to fasting. Pencil in time to be introspective and pray.
- Finally, clean your house and shop for groceries now like you’re nesting. You will only have the time, energy and desire to do the bare minimum one Ramadan rolls around, and the nighttime should be your time, not “do stupid stuff i don’t want to do like clean” time. I’ve stocked up on cat litter and started some deep cleaning. The week before Ramadan and then on the following Saturdays, I organize my work outfits for the week to minimize thinking before I wake up and maximize my ability to get a few more winks in.
- In my company we have a few users, including myself, who have been using Blackberry Z10s for a couple of weeks. I’m sold and I think it is a solid work device, but first a little backstory. And full disclosure: I’m in charge of the cell phone fleet for around 30 people in a BYOD environment where Blackberry is an option as the IT department is willing to run the servers.
- people whose companies have a generous BYOD policy and whose IT departments are willing to run the Blackberry 10 Server
- people whose companies are Blackberry only who could now in principle, depending on the billing policies of company phones, get away with only one smartphone
- people who are already Blackberry fans
- private users not running their email through a BES, as it is really the strongest point of a device whose other qualities put it in the mid range of Android phones
- heavy users of the apps which are not native to the Blackberry 10s yet, like Instagram, although sideloading remains possible
- people who just want a smartphone and don’t want work email on their phone- there are cheaper options, like some mid-range Android models
If you are new to Switzerland and are looking at health insurance, do not go to Intras.
They overcharge, they are not flexible, and just practice bad business.
Some good news on the MMW front I will let y’all know about as it happens…
As I wrap some of that up, watch this space because I hope to write a few posts in the coming weeks:
1. on what “good Muslim brothers” and “nice guys” have in common when it comes to getting married/laid: there is a fundamental problem with how they view women, a pathology normal women pick up subconsciously (e.g. women not being good enough, having fixed ideas on how good women should be, expecting women to be grateful for basic respect and common courtesy). Saying you honor and respect women and walking the walk are two different things, and if you aren’t making that connection, check yourself and check your intention, as being nice and giving us our rights are not “gifts” and all feminists are not man hating cat ladies ignorant of Islam or culture;
2. On how I have been toying with vegetarianism and veganism for the past six weeks: I am pretty happy with the outcome and will continue the experiment- I think modern agriculture has its issues and our best weapon in the sustainability of the planet is eating locally and responsibly, and paying attention to our meat sources, which is sunnah anyway.
Catch y’all soon!
I used to have a fairly large, fairly expensive makeup stash which took up a small dresser drawer. By Makeup Alley standards, it was probably on the high end of a medium-sized stash. I’ve now purged down to a boot box. In fact, my stash got so small- I over purged my blushes, bronzers and lipsticks- that I had to gank some from my mother in October. I think big stashes are a by-product of our consumer society and the Limited Edition craze so many makeup brands push on us, and it takes a while to navigate the waters and pull the good products from the hype. The truth is, we so rarely finish cosmetics these days, and keeping a large stash is just consigning items to rot one day. I know a lot of makeup hoarders are going to make New Year’s resolutions about shopping their stashes or going on low- or no-buys, so I figured I would write a quick and dirty post about what worked for me. I originally started my first low-buy because I was out of cash (while some people were going on exotic vacations with their lovers but whatevers) but it has been a philosophical shift in how I shop for makeup.
1. Keep a notepad by your vanity and write down what you use in a month and how many times you use it. Put that in a “keep” pile, even if it is huge. We’ll come back to this. Skincare and haircare count too.
2. Make a second keep pile of stuff you didn’t use which is either a) out of season or b) swappable/sellable. This could be limited edition items, or bronzers that only work in summer but work well. This should be small and really only contain stuff like Guerlain Meteorites compacts and the like.
3. Be honest with yourself about trash-by dates. If something is more than two years old (1 year for foundation and sunscreen, 3-6 months for mascara), or its texture/odor has changed, just chuck it. The exception is some powder products which have been stored correctly. For example, I have some Shu and Chanel blushes which may be around five years old, but they have been in a dark closet just chillin and are fine.
4. I’m not big into wastefulness, but if your stash has gotten big enough to consider a no-buy or low-buy, you also need to throw stuff away that you can’t swap, sell or use, like old mascara and wand lipgloss, half empty bottles of shampoo and the like. Also, a lot of drugstore stuff isn’t swappable (except for cult products). If you don’t use stuff that you can’t share (wand stuff, pot creams, eye creams), just toss it.
5. Now that you have made your first cull, let’s go back to what you use in a month. In my case, it was four blushes, two bronzers and a couple of eyeshadow palettes, as well as six lip glosses. Of these, two of the blushes and one of the eye shadow palettes I had only used once, ditto for two of the lip glosses. So I purged the less used items and put them into the “second pile.”
6. With my “second pile” (“stuff worth keeping that I wasn’t using frequently”), I kept some to the side for swapping during my low-buy (more on that later) and purged the rest through swapping or just giving them away. I have a SIL who doesn’t mine my secondhand glosses so she got those, and a lot of powder cosmetics and stick lipsticks went into what I call the “Marriage Kit” whereby my female relatives use them as a communal stash for dolling up people at weddings.
7. I wasn’t too hard on myself- I kept my two Meteorites compacts (although one is BNIB and I don’t exclude swapping it later) and some LE Guerlain bronzers, my Lancome Erika F eyeshadow and a Dior highlighter. Your ultimate goal should be having a manageable stash that doesn’t hog your space and is full of products you use frequently but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep a small amount of products which are meaningful to you or which have monetary value (the coin I could get for that Guerlain on Ebay…). Follow the spirit of the cull, not the letter. The only thing I did not cull at all was my brush collection. These are all high end (Shu, LM, Kanebo) and last around twenty years anyway. Keep the good tools.
8. Now you are ready for your low- or no- buy. I have been on a low-buy for two years now. In my case, for the first six months I only replaced mascara, loose powder, moisturizer and eye cream, e.g. stuff I used daily and ran out of. As I started finishing lip gloss and lipsticks or hitting pan in blushes or bronzer, I would allow myself to replace a finished product with something new. Likewise, every six months, I cull my stash and contribute to the Marriage Kit or swap out what I am truly not using. I would also use my swap pile to replace by trading items I ran out of rather than buy. My stash has gotten so small now that I don’t really swap or give away any more.
9. Don’t beat yourself up about the money you spent on makeup that is now going to other people or to the trash. I look at it as an investment in a learning experience whereby I got to experiment with a lot of different brands and styles on the way to finding out exactly what worked for me. I don’t even think about my makeup any more and yet every time I put in just a little effort, I get complimented on mah mad skeelz. I have the tools I need to do a day look, a work look, a OMG IZ NYE PARTAY look and the like, and you can’t get to that point without having had a big stash at some point. The worst is that on a given day I generally only wear powder and mascara, and this regardless of the size of my stash. I think on some level, my big stash was a crutch.
One final note: when I first started, it helped me a lot to stop reading makeup blogs and going on MUA. Now that I am in a phase where I will buy stuff within reason, blogs and MUA are a great resource for making the difference between quality and hyped products, but it may be worth it at first to quit “makeup” cold turkey for a while, especially during LE collection seasons. The pan pr0n is ALWAYS worth it.
A few weeks back, Carla Bruni was in Vogue magazine talking about how she doesn’t feel the need to be a feminist any more. I think that is cute. She specifically said that her generation doesn’t need to be feminist, like she is that young or something. I admire her frankness- she also owned up to being a real bourgeois- but what she is selling is quite dangerous. I agree with her- Carla Bruni doesn’t need to be a feminist. Why? Because she is a heiress who was born into money, who made a hecka lot more money modeling, then made some more money singing, then married the president of France. She has the capital she needs several hundred times over. People like Carla Bruni “don’t need” feminism. The waitress trying to pay for her abortion? She needs feminism. The talented manager who keeps getting passed over for senior management and board positions? She needs feminism. The working mother whose husband expects her to bring home the bacon and be Donna Reed too? She needs feminism. The single mom who can’t afford childcare while her ex-dude is off making more babies with someone else? She needs feminism too. But a rich lady who can afford to walk away if her dude doesn’t fly right? Ok Carla, you don’t need feminism. For me it is always about capital. We don’t all get good husbands. We don’t all get money. Until then, we need feminism. I need the same salary as a man with equal talent. I need access to management positions if I want them. I need to not be judged for being divorced. I need to not be judged for choosing not to have children. These things aren’t possible without a feminist bent.
Feminism gets a bad rap these days. I feel like everything my mother ‘s and grandmother’s generations fought for is going down the drain. Women in their little suburban homes who think death or divorce can’t happen to them. The same women who egg on men when they say that feminists are bitter and hate men and don’t want to do housework. Which leads me to the title of this post. You know who I think of when some man tries to diss feminism to me? I think of this dude. People want to talk about how he was an isolated, crazy gun toting mental case- but read about some of the stuff he says. Women taking men’s jobs, women wanting their cake and eating it too for crazy things like maternity leave (OMG right), women being opportunists who only want what belongs to men without fighting the hard fights. That is the undercurrent to what people say when they start going off about how feminists are “bitter” or feminists “hate men.” It has been 23 years since the Polytechnique massacre. Are women really better off? Listen to the crap men and, scarily, women are saying about gender politics and roles.
And I love it when Muslim men want to go off about how “Islam doesn’t need feminism because blah blah respect women blah blah Islam gave rights to women blah blah.” But I still don’t think Islam as it is practiced these days, aka Hislam, is fair to women and true to what the early Muslims intended. Come back and tell me how great Muslim women have it when:
- scrubs who sleep around, cheat and beat their wives aren’t allowed to come to jummah and get shunned the way cheating or promiscuous women get slut shamed at the masjid too.
- women have equal spaces in our masajid and both men and women’s spaces have childcare sections. For these past two points, rip a page out of the Christian playbook. I grew up in churches where EVERYONE was welcome.
- men stop abusing polygamy and call it sunnah when they don’t have a job and three of their wives are on welfare
- women stop being judged by their clothing
- imans stop telling women who are victims of DV to “have some sabr sister” while the yeahbros at the masjid welcome her husband to hang out for coffee and hookah
- when Muslim men walking the walk and living according to the sunnah when it comes to fair treatment of women becomes a majority situation, not a minority one
I don’t consider myself theologically liberal at all but the place of women in our ummah leaves to be desired. We have bigger problems than women leading prayer or wearing hijab or not. The pathology of the ummah in how it treats women runs deeper than just a few crazies doing “honor killings”, just like how Marc Lepine was a random crazy but still part of a larger pathology of hatred and violence against women. Islam is a beautiful religion, but we gotta get back to the roots. Don’t betray the peace and grace of MY RELIGION TOO by making flippant, offhand comments about how feminists are man-hating “lesbians.” Our scars run deep.